I am doing something I care about. I was not good at doing this two years ago, but now I feel like I am getting the hang of it. This is why I feel more fulfilled every day and since my job is related to changing peoples lives, I feel a strong sense of purpose too.
However, most of the time, I am not intellectually challenged. Big part of my job is to make people do things and do things myself. I really don’t like this part of the job because it makes me anxious all the time. I usually question my decisions and over-reflect on them.
Being a doer is something I am not good at and I am getting better, this is why, probably it is better to resist my irrational anxiety, learn and grow. I am growing a little bit, I can see that, but anxiety is still here.
Past two days, I had some free time so I decided to activate my non-doer, thinker self. I loved it. I kept reading, thinking, talking, writing about theoretical issues, which were fascinating to think about but didn’t require much real-life “doing” or “acting”.
So my question (to myself) is:
Does the fact that I am a good thinker but not a good doer, mean that I should stop doing and start thinking?
Or
Does this mean the opposite — that thinking is my comfort zone and I should start learning to act with ease, without anxiety.
If I stay: maybe I am missing out on doing something I will be good at and I will find comfort in.
If I leave: maybe I am missing out on overcoming challenges and improving my skills.
